This is our new home. Aka Shi Tpa Forum

[DrJoeyMagnum]

What's he doing wrong?

[HiPcavallo]

Everything apparently. He just keeps fucking up the most basic tasks, it's starting to generate far too many complaints, and costing the company too much money. Add to that he keeps letting people walk all over him, so he's doing stupid shit like giving away all the cash we have in the till (there's no ATM machine in the area so we get people wanting cash out constantly. We're only allowed to do it based on how much money we have, and what denominations we can spare. Ravi will literally do it until there's nothing left), and gave literally all of our pie bags to another site a few weeks back because their manager insisted that what I set aside for him wasn't enough. Also started giving some desperate woman cigarettes and now she won't fucking leave us alone, like she will seriously stand right next to me on my breaks and wait for me to finish my smoking so she can pick up my cigarette buts the second they hit the ground (I've told her to fuck off I don't know how many times, but she just won't leave us alone. We had to clean out the gutters and get an ashtray installed today, if that doesn't work we're going to apply for a restraining order. She's been lurking around as long as I've been there, but was never a problem until Ravi started giving her smokes). It's gotten to a point where head office is starting to consider him too big a liability, and they've basically started setting traps for him this week. Add to that we have new retailers taking over at the end of October so we all have to get new contracts, they don't even need a reason to fire him, they can simply choose not to renew his contract. So sadly, he could be fucked either way at this point.

I can fully see where they're coming from, but I'm strongly against it. For all his faults Ravi is a genuinely good guy, is ridiculously flexible when it comes to work, very reliable, and to his credit he really does try (which is more than I can say for most people I work with). We lose Ravi and we're basically fucked any time someone calls in sick and I can't cover that shift (it's generally not even worth asking anyone else besides the two of us), and he's the guy that fills all the gaps on our roster (and gaps that are hard to fill. For one thing if he leaves we have no one to do graveyard on weekends, I'm the only person who could do it, but considering I'm the assistant manager I'm needed during the day as I'm in charge on weekends). Not to mention, there are others we all think are much worse. At least with Ravi I don't mind cleaning up his fuck ups so much since he at least tries to get all his work done, is very easy to work with and get along with, and his flexibility in regards to work has always been a massive help. Compare him to someone like Daljinder, only reason she isn't making as many fuck ups is because she refuses to do the work, and doesn't get many hours (for good reason, we keep her on the bare minimum because no one likes working with her, she fucks up constantly, and will outright refuse to do her job or accept accountability for anything. If it had been up to me I would've fired her at Christmas). Personally I think he's just been under way too much stress lately (his personal life has been a complete mess the past few months), I think the best move would be to just have him split his time with us and another site for a while, so we can keep him on graveyard shifts where he can't do much damage until he sorts his shit out.

[DrJoeyMagnum]

Is his english good? it might be a communication problem

[Steenalizer]

"Ravioili, Ravioli, give the the smokeioili."

[HiPcavallo]

6 hours ago, DrJoeyMagnumRyan said:

Is his english good? it might be a communication problem

Not really. He can speak well enough, but has trouble understanding you at the best of times.

[HiPcavallo]

@Cave Waverider thanks for checking my priveledge, bro. I was just trying to make sure stevieshae got the appreciation she deserves, but I can see how it was wrong for me to applaud pornography where children can see it, bro.

[HiPcavallo]

As some of you bros may have noticed, I have gentrified our home and developed the new Shi Tpa Forum around it. We have a revitalised Arts and Foods district, which should appeal to all the young hipsters out there, bro. If Smacktalks ever wants to acquire a Whole Foods, then we need to be able to prove that we deserve one. I'm just doing my part to help with the gentrification process, and help make Smacktalks a better place, bro.

 

[Penguin]

I'm so proud of us, bro.

[HiPcavallo]

We've done a great thing here, bro!

Also worth mentioning, I got new sunglasses, bro. It was brought to my attention that if I was truly going to represent the interests of PC, then I needed the right sunglasses, bro. Sadly I couldn't afford them, but this Doctor I know was kind enough to get them for me, bro. It's a great thing when a man of priveledge goes out of his way to support a minority (such as a PC purple Rainbow zebra) like that. We could all learn a lot from this guy, it's obvious that he got 2015 out of his rearview mirror a long time ago, bro. I'd just like to publicly thank him for his kindness. And decency, bro.

[DrJoeyMagnum]

A free bar and no dinner are a dangerous combination for me

[HiPcavallo]

Apparently someone tried to hack my twitter account... why, bro? There's like nothing on there and I've made all of three tweets, with no intention of using it again. If you want to try claim my twitter account, then you could simply try asking. It has no value to me, bro.

[Penguin]

It wasn't me, bro.

[HiPcavallo]

It was probably that bitch Naomi, I called her out, bro.

Sadly had to tweet it twice, because I initially sent it to the official twitter account of Naomi's ass by mistake (yes, sadly that is actually a thing).

[HiPcavallo]

Thought I should put this out there, the cameras at work stopped working, and won't be fixed until Tuesday. So if you've ever thought about robbing me, then now is a good time! It should be noted that I have been properly trained in what to do during a robbery, so rest assured I will willingly comply with your demands.

[Penguin]

Can you book me a first class flight to Australia: Lil' League edition?

[HiPcavallo]

Couldn't you just swim? It should only take you 17 minutes and 21 seconds, bro.

[Penguin]

Yeah, but I'm fairly lazy..

[HiPcavallo]

Apparently I'm having a very productive day at work. I have effectively recycled, brought a new life into this world, and given him a free hat!

I'd like to introduce you all to a new friend of mine, I have named him Biscuit.

 

[Penguin]

Awww, he's cute.

[HiPcavallo]

Biscuit was an outstanding coworker today. He really stepped up and helped me serve customers in a meaningful and (kinda) productive way, it'll certainly be interesting to see how many surveys we get back with his name on them. It was an honour and a privilege to work alongside him, and I must say the experience really strengthened our bond. Our friendship has ascended to a whole new level, and our bond is inseperable <3

I even gave him his own name tag and everything!

[HiPcavallo]

On the train to work, just passed by some flying shoes, bro.

[Steenalizer]

12 hours ago, Bro-HiPcavallo said:

On the train to work, just passed by John Cena, bro.

FTFY

[HiPcavallo]

Holy shit, Cena can fly, bro?!

[Steenalizer]

Only when he’s invisible, bro. If he flew whilst he was seen people would think he was marginalising birds like Penguin that can’t fly, bro.

[HiPcavallo]

Been going over sales reports at work, noticed something interesting. Last month condoms were selling really well, but for some reason we haven't sold any for two weeks. Apparently everyone stopped getting laid, bro.

Makes me feel a little better about my sudden inability to get laid, maybe it's just a seasonal thing? Seems odd, you'd think Spring would be the best time of year to get laid.