Moderator Position Acceptance Speech

[jitz]

Hello all and welcome to the new age of smacktalks.org.

 

Firstly I would like to thank Paul, not Smacktalks Paul, but Paul Paul. If it weren't for his creative flair, and undeniable talent at booking fantasy wrestling leagues I wouldn't have been inspired to once again tackle the demanding 24/7 role that is forum moderating. Secondly I have to thank fufu, if not for your ambiguous gender and sexuality, we all would have spent a loss less time trying to solve that rubik's cube, leading to a lot less activity and possibly the death of the board as a whole. Thank you fufu, keep unclear. Thirdly, and easiest to thank is everyone who has continued the General Chat traditions of solving other people's life problems by applying your knowledge of Attitude era WWE feuds and exact timing of reversals in WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009. Your untrained advice keeps the at risk on edge, and that means seeking refuge in the one place in the world where girls aren't - smacktalks.org

 

Now I understand a lot of you weren't around during the golden years of this message board a.k.a. my previous run as moderator, what you can expect is much more swearing, reading a lot more posts like they were made by Crocodile Dundee, and arguments settled a lot quicker because I am always right. No new rules will be put in place, in fact I'll probably never read the current rules, what I can say though is hate crimes will only be tolerated if it brings out an audible chuckle on first read, and sexual assault is only cool when it's a Japanese porno and they're somehow enjoying it by the end. I highly suggest the uncensored versions, the Japs have some strange rules about genitals and pixellate them, it's like watching a 30 second downloaded porn clip in 1996. Also turn the sound down, otherwise neighbours will wonder why you're savagely beating an 8 year old girl and will calls the cops.

 

I look forward to receiving plenty of PMs asking me to solve your petty differences, arguments you're clearly wrong in, and trying to get anyone with less than 50 posts banned because they're all inevitably complete fuckwits. If you have any problems with my moderating style (or complete lack thereof) be sure to lodge an official complaint, because the more of Paul's time (Smacktalk's Paul, not life changing Paul Paul) you waste, the more I win.

 

Thank you for your time, I'll see you all in the Introductions forum (now 100% sans spam due to yours truly).

Edited September 23, 2014 by Strum la Frantique

[fufu ÷]

It's about time I got some thanks for the important work I do around here

 

[Tamer™]

Wait wut.

[RingMaster2001]

Congratulations Chris, you really are the Kevin Rudd of Smacktalks.