It Was So Disgusting

[jitz]

Ok story goes I'm quite the beer drinker. There's usually an army of empties guarding my PC at all times. So here I am having a leisurely drink after work, getting well into my first bottle when BAM! I take a mouthful from the wrong bottle! A foul tasting liquid ravages my mouth and a soft piece of debris of unknown origins enters my mouth.

I knew I was in trouble, this didn't taste good at all, I was borderline vomiting on the spot. I spit the liquid back into the bottle, a second spit removes the debris. I take a close look inside the bottle, my worst fears are confirmed, it was infact a huge piece of mould.

The vomit meter is near about to blow, the terrible taste only seemed to get worse after I realised it's origin. I legged it to the bathroom, ignoring a "Hi Chris" from my own mother. Grabbing a toothbrush I put four times the usual amount of toothpaste on and ram it into my mouth, quickly cleaning every corner of my mouth and every bit of surface on my tongue. Then comes the Listerine mouthwash, this shit burns at the best of times after a good brush, now it has to deal with pure bacteria being taken directly into the mouth. It hurt, it was 30 seconds of agony.

I'm now onto my second beer. It taste terrible, not because of mould, but because of a freshly brushed mouth. Lesson here people - never eat mould.

[Thom]

And don't brush your teeth unless it's absolutely necessary. In Chris's case, it wasn't quite absolutely necessary. He loses man-points.

[CanaMatt]

This story is absolutely awesome.

[phil]

Damn, sucks to be your piehole, Jitz.

[Subrick]

How did your beer mold?

[phil]

Beer is made of yeast, which ferments. However, yeast is a part of the Fungi family and if given enough time, it will asexually reproduce and will make multicellular filaments.

[Subrick]

So the beer had a yeast infection?

[takersfan]

No your mom did.

[Subrick]

Hardy har har.

[jitz]

Let me take Phil's science lesson a little bit further a through in a beer lesson along with it. Beer is made with yeast, but the yeast settles to the bottom of the drum and the liquid is taken and put in bottles, the yeast is left behind and disposed of after fermentation. BUT Cooper's Pale Ale (my favourite beer, Matt can back me up, he's seen the empties) is bottle fermented, meaning there is yeast residue through out the entire bottle, giving it a cloudy appearance. There's a also about a 1 in 3 chance you'll win a prize bottle and score a fairly large chunk of yeast at the bottom. So it's one of the only beers in the world that you have to tip upside down, or roll, before drinking it to spread the yeast through out the liquid.

So yeah, the bacteria was having a field day.

For those wanting to know, the mould had a strange metallic tang to it.

This story is absolutely awesome.

I'm willing to bypass the voting and simply accept the Best Topic of the Year award right now.

[Subrick]

Too bad.

[jitz]

I thought your reply took the idea too seriously, so I knew I had to check if you had a topic up for it. Ofcourse you do. A look at the nominees shows the award is as much a joke as each one of those topics became. I'd be embarrassed to be the original poster of a topic that got so hilariously hijacked.

[Subrick]

Yeah, and I was on the verge of closing that topic because of takersfan's retardness, ut didn't because it's awesome to watch Sal verbally beat the shit out of people.

[takersfan]

im glad to entertain you.

[Subrick]

You're welcome.

[Aero]

erm.. technically, should YOU notbe the 1 who's welcome sub?