Dont know what to do

[Jhardy_jr]

Not really sure why im posting this here other then i feel the need to get it off of my chest because it hurts far too much.

A good friend of mine who I have been friends with since we were babies was in a very serious car accident last night and i was informed today that she will be permanently paralyzed from the waist down and might have some minor brain damage.

I still dont know quite what to make of this or how to handle it but it is making everything very hard, her parents are divorced and she doesnt know her father so when we were kids i got very close to her and her mom and its almost like we are not friends but family and i dont know how her mother is going to get through this.

I think i hurt more because i dont know that she will be able to handle this on her own, I of course plan on doing everything i can to help but it wont change what has happened or what is going to happen for the remainder of her life.

We have done everything together from taking our first steps to going on our first vacation with our parents together when we were 4, i honestly dont know how im going to do this without breaking down. She has always been there for me and vice versa and now i dont know if she will even be able to hold out a whole conversation nevermind go on our trip to vegas in the summer.

I dont know for sure how this is going to pan out and it hurts more then anything i have ever had to experience. I'm going to the hospital now and hopefully when i finally come home i will have a shred of good news other then this terrible news i have been recieving over and over all day today.

I'm really not sure what im looking for cuz i know nothing will help but i think i just needed to let it out a little.

edit: I did not feel compelled to go into details about the accident earlier but since sal pointed it out, the accident was very serious and she suffered a very hard blow to the head...not sure what it was against but that it was what caused the brain damage.

Edited January 24, 2008 by Jhardy_jr

[Spectre]

Damn Dude, i cant really say anything that might help, execpt wish for the best, i hope things can turn around. Hope things work out for the best,

[takersfan]

Im sorry that this happened. But just hope for the best. I hope you and your friend will do just fine.

Edited January 23, 2008 by takersfan

[Nemo]

...she will be permanently paralyzed from the waist down and might have some minor brain damage...

... i feel as though i have already lost my best friend...

read those sentences to yourself a few times, notice the conflict and never make that mistake again.

sounds like shes got it pretty bad already. hopefully the brain damage isnt too severe or anything. hb will be praying for her (he does my praying for me)

[Chillalex]

be thankful shes alive, fuck.

Look at it that way. Minor brain damage and lower paralysis, yeah, its not ideal, but it could be a lot worse. She'll still be the same person she always was and nothing will change.

[Jhardy_jr]

seriously ? I cant fucking believe how low that is, be thankful shes alive ?

I am thankful shes alive but its not exactly like her life is going to be a fucking walk in the park from here on, shes not gonna be able to do alot of the stuff she wanted to do later on in life. That is seriously one of the most inconsiderate things you could have possibly said.

And sal i realize how you misconstrued what i said from what i typed...but you know what i mean...shes doing a little better today but as of right now they think she will maybe only regain about three quarters of her mental capacity. and i can see what you mean about the other sentence...not what i meant to say.

and chillalex... NO she will not be the same person she has always been, fuck you.

[Nemo]

how is "be thankful shes alive" low or inconsiderate? should you NOT be thankful shes alive? or is she better off dead?

theres tough times ahead, yeah. but she beat death, man. thats all that should matter.

[The Don]

I got thrown out of a truck and I'm fine, I'm the man of fucking steel baby!

Anyways, sorry to hear about your friend. The best thing for you to do (like Alex said) is be glad she's alive and be there when she needs you. Also since you said she's going to be paralyzed be sure not to be too uncomfortable around her as she's still the same person you've know for so long and I'm sure she'll be glad to still have her friends around.

And you can go on and on about how she's not the same person, but deep down inside she is. You saying that she isn't, or anyone else saying that she isn't, is a fucking slap n the face to someone who already has enough on her plate. If you not mature enough to understand that then you need to find some new friends bucko.

[Chillalex]

seriously ? I cant fucking believe how low that is, be thankful shes alive ?

I am thankful shes alive but its not exactly like her life is going to be a fucking walk in the park from here on, shes not gonna be able to do alot of the stuff she wanted to do later on in life. That is seriously one of the most inconsiderate things you could have possibly said.

And sal i realize how you misconstrued what i said from what i typed...but you know what i mean...shes doing a little better today but as of right now they think she will maybe only regain about three quarters of her mental capacity. and i can see what you mean about the other sentence...not what i meant to say.

and chillalex... NO she will not be the same person she has always been, fuck you.

I'm being polite here because your in stress no doubt

How is it inconsiderate? You are not the only person to have someone close be in an accident or touch death. Yeah life won't be a walk in the park, I never said it wouldn't, but are you saying you really would rather she didnt even have to try any more and should just be dead? Ok so she cant do things she wanted, she can still do things. This is my point. I know you're sore but you need to look on the positive side of things.

You said minor brain damage and now you say 3/4 back. Little bit more than minor so OK what I said might not be totally true but again, she's not going to be vegetabilised and chances are the memories are still going to be there.

You seem to be believing that when she comes back she won't remember you, the nice things you've done are totally gone forever, and you won't still be able to have a good time. It'll be hard but fuck man, they are still the same person. Few changes, some for worse, but you cant change that.

I dont see why you took offence to what I said, other than the fact you're still in shock.

I still stand by what I say. Just be thankful its not worse. These things, unfortunately, happen, and you can't be happy about that, but alot worse things happen.

Thats all I'm going to say, you still want to think I'm being insensitive, go ahead, and just listen to all the "im sorry to hear that" 's instead of advice

Edited January 24, 2008 by Chillalex

[Smacktalks]

I'd have to agree with Alex, sure it's a big change but you've got to look on the upside.

Try to think less about the bad things and concentrate on the positives from it, ie. it could have been a lot worse.

If you were in your friends position you'd want to hear everyone around you being as positive as possible and telling you how lucky you are that your not in a worse condition, at least this way you'll have hope. If you hear people saying things like you've had 3/4 brain damage and your no longer gonna be the person you used to be, then it's only going to send you into a deeper depression and kill any hope you had of making some sort of recovery.

The best thing I can say is be patient and wait to see what the results say, sure both of your lives will change but being a close friend you'll no doubt be there to help with the changes and provide support when your friend needs it.