Eternal Dilemma

[Thom]

Going to the pub in a bit, as is a friend who lives in Hagley. She's staying at mine after, so I'm expecting at least a wank-job, SO, do I...

Have a wank first just so it isn't short and sweet HOWEVER risk getting jop on my bed/the smell of jop in the air tonight

or

Leave 'em be, have a room smelling of...normal smell, but jac like a volcano after two strokes.

If she resists da charmz (96% likely), I'll monk off onto her leg while she's asleep.

[Aero]

do it before you go out, not that i'm sure its an issue for you anyways, but its a proven fact that it can also stop you being to erm... we'll say pervy (they use some fancy testoterone related word) and as such, more likely to pull etc.

it also means lil' thom lasts longer later

... oh, do it in ur bathroom, then ur room wont smell of it!?!?!

[RingMaster2001]

Or, have a "posh wank".

[Fozy]

I hate jonnies though.

Sorry, just my two cents.

[RingMaster2001]

They are not good I grant you, and should not be a first choice, but, as in this situation, needs must.

[Thom]

Oh man this is fucked up.

I discovered a 7% pear cider at the bar we all met at, she came back to mine, I was feeling a little fruity and decided that we were going to have sex, sparing ou the gory details, we were going for a few minutes, and then she informs me "I'm not on the pill or anything" and I say just get the morning after, apparently this is offensive to girls, so she stops, but not before it's too late. I don't think she realised though, so how do I say "Uhh love, I think you should go to Boots", especially as she rang me up pissed off jus this second, because when I said she could definitely get back to Hagley for 9am in time for work, I was just guessing, and had in fact done no revision into the subject.

In short;

Accidentally had sex, need to tell girl who didn't realise we'd had sex that she needs to get the pill

Sorry for the poorly structured post, I've got a lot of thought swimming around my head, like sperm in her womb. If I don't tell her, she'll carry on happily as normal, then find out she's pregnant. I don't really care about saving face, I doubt she's gonna talk to me again anyway, and the girl that I actually want a relationship with is back from Australia tomorrow, so I don't mind that the other girl is never going to talk to me again because I made her miss work.

[essjayisback]

Oh dear, so you spaffed inside her?

mate, you need to tell her, honesty is the best way.

edited: for stupid trust me comment

Edited January 5, 2008 by essjayisback

[jitz]

Why trust you? That's just a stupid comment to make.

Anyways moving on from that, Thom if you blew your load inside of her, there's no way she could not know. It's hot and sticky, they can definitely tell. If you did and she doesn't know, well that just says you're firing cannon needs a once over from a doctor.

Im calling this one as 'SAFE', and you should definitely not tell her because she sounds like a complete bitch already. Think about it, you tell her that she's possibly pregnant, shit you're just giving her an excuse to pull out another bitch card like hormones.

Boys make a mental note "Don't ask to take morning after pill". Thanks Thom for the research.

[Aero]

that, or rubber up, its not as fun but it makes sense when you hear this shit.

that said, something similar happened me, going at it with a randomer, "halfway through" she tells me the same, fortunately i was drunk enough for the sex to go on for like 8 years before i blow, so i shrugged (being drunk and all) and after another couple of minutes, when i still hadnt finished, and had the thought of her not being on the pill floating around in my head, i honestly started to sober up pretty fast, and STOPPED.

3 months later, phone rings, i discovered that this randomer knew who i was, and was a mates cousin, tells me she's up the duff, after a falling out with the mate and a few arguements later, the bitch confessed that it wasnt mines.... then 2 months later, when she would have been 6 months gone, and sill hadnt start to show, confessed that she made it up.

as such, women are fucked up, so rubber up, or deal with the shit that will follow (and before anyone says it, no, i dont mean stick it up her arse... but feel free to anyways, its safer.)

[essjayisback]

@ the stick it up her arse comment.

y do girl's lie about this shit, do they think they will win us back by telling us there pregnant?

morons. lol.

[Aero]

i dunno, mayb she was impressed by my staying power in the sack, not realising i was probably one drink away from brewers droop. oh how disappointed she would have been the next time...

[Merks]

Well you see, that what guys do who aren't complete assholes when they get a girl pregnant. Even if they don't want to be involved at all they still end up paying child support for the next 18 years. In short, Don't be silly, cover your Willie.

[essjayisback]

ah yes brewers droop, its like your a man of steel when having drunk sex, cos it just takes ages to let one off,like you have unmatchable stamina. but it dont feel the same when you do, .so why do it when drunk? oh well... us men will still keep on banging away after a night on the lash

[Merks]

Am I the only one who thinks this guy is croak of shit and is almost for sure a virgin?

[Aero]

you're probably right, seeing how brewers droop is where you cant get it up inthe first place.

[essjayisback]

hey morons i know that.

i should have started another line for the seporate story.

im not a virgin, but think what u will.

[Aero]

a new line? you put an apostrophe, so you didnt even close the sentence. as such its pretty simple to see how either we where mislead or you are now lying, yeah?

[essjayisback]

Right, it should of read.

ah brewers droop,( as in i know what ur on about).

and then....

seporate story about sex when drunk, nothing to do with brewers droop. why im justifiying myself to people who dont know me or anything about me is beyond me, i guess its the boredham of work on a saturday

[Merks]

It wasn't the brewers drop that made me doubt him, it was the whole " oh well... us men will still keep on banging away after a night on the lash happy2.gif" part. Just seemed like he was putting way too much effort into making it clear he's done it.

[essjayisback]

no, so other people can talk about sex, all men, and when i say,us men will keep doing it, u have a dig, y dont you just fuck off

[Aero]

he was only saying what the rest of us where thinking.

[Merks]

It's not the fact that were talking about it, it's how you've been saying the stuff. You seem to always have to try and remind everyone when making a post about it that you've done it. Oh and the brewers part just made it obvious that you were lying.

ah yes brewers droop, its like your a man of steel when having drunk sex, cos it just takes ages to let one off,like you have unmatchable stamina. but it dont feel the same when you do

Right, it should of read.

ah brewers droop,( as in i know what ur on about).

and then....

seporate story about sex when drunk, nothing to do with brewers droop.

Your clearly still talking about brewers droop or else you wouldnt've kept talking bout it after the coma, nice try though.

[Thom]

Brewers droop is the reason I told her I didn't have a condom though, I wasn't gonna sit there and get hard enough to put a condom on, spend time putting it on so that it goes flaccid, struggles to get in there, manages to get in there, and then dies, leaving he condom inside.

I told her she should get the pill anyway, she's not that much of a bitch. Things are likely to be awkward next time I see her, until I make a joke out of it.

[Nemo]

any of you seen idiocracy? this is a prime example of why the world is gonna suck a few centuries from now.

way to contribute to the demise, tom.