oh god oh god now what do i does

[Chillalex]

i know about 5 of you are worldly and I dare say this has happened to some of you and i need help oh god

this is serious but its such a retarded and amusing anecdote (to myself and thats all that matters) that ive put it in here to laugh at and make merry.

I went back home last weekend with the lady because I had to go to the doctors (back on the meds and I havent even got a third of whats wrong with my sorted) and that night all was well we kipped down strong had a sleep and all that.

Next morning all is fine. Dad knocked on the door, asked if any of us wanted a brew to which I said I'd have two, and the lady one. He brews up, comes up, knocks up, and brings in a brew.

Feels slightly awkward but shes totally covered up, top on, same as I, so I just think it doesnt matter, no ones seeing anything and hes just putting a brew down.

Right now, if your smart, you can see where I'm going, but don't yet retort

read!

So my dads knocked twice, I think its all goin smooth, and we're readin magazines; total two. Take a break and chat my best womens weeklys, do the fuckin crossword right up style.

One thing leads to another and we be gettin down to the nasty and my familys gettin ready to go out, see. I stop and think and carry on deep, they're too busy and they knock

And then to my horror someone speak out

she say HEY AL - oh - my moms mouth

shes at the door, waitin, now she openin

I'm not catholic but this is a sin

time slowed down like my name was wachowski

I try to pull out but there aint no chance, see

My mom glances in, full face, full horror

shes seen it all, she has, must of, shes gotta

and though I'm on top and covers on, im panickin

i move my arm down lady stay still like a mannequin

I expose a boob, one nipple not three

multi-tit-robot-chick is for my man arnie

My mom keeps on chattin though shes backed on out

Shes out, Im in, askin me questions, we're conversing

conversely, the womans silent and horrified

not a whisper she aint even sighed

so ive been caught in bed full flow and my moms not said owt

do I say anything or do I leave it, plaster over it with grout?

in non rhyme form, she walked in on me and my lady doing it and carried on having a conversation with me after she took in the full horror. The covers were on, though I exposed a boob of my ladies in my utter shock.

Idont know what to do now though, as things feel awkward between me and my mom... I dont think i can face going back home for a bit. Do I apologise? Or pretend it never hapened? oh god.

[Thom]

The fact that she carried on talking sort of suggests that she was implying that she's willing to overlook what you were doing to try and avoid embarassment. Things are bound to feel awkward, you're just embarassed about it. Give it time, realise just how funny the situation is, and the awkwardness will subside.

If I was in your position - which I presume was missionary (POW!!) what would I have done? Made a joke about it on the spot, or invited me Mam to join in.

[crunk]

Hahaha, just laugh it off man.

Hugs in your family are just going to be replaced with grins and Hi5's for the time being, but you'll be right.

[Thom]

People hug their families?

[jitz]

Alex, I didn't realise you were trying to rhyme until you said about the non rhyme form.

As for the situation man, we're talking about the centrepiece to many a bad teen comedy. The entire situation is one big joke to all involved. You were getting your rocks off; the missus was a deer in the head lights thinking that the more silent and still she is, the less likely someone is to spot her with her legs open; your mum thought back to the time her parents caught her and her ex boyfriend going at it being the shed; your mum told your dad who was having a laugh and thinking of your girlfriend's tit looks like.

Thing is, sex is something everyone outside of this board and a select few on it, does. Just think of the people that have been caught doing far worse...lesbian fisting, having sex with the elderly, having sex with the underaged, gay anal, hmmm...yeah gay anal would have to be the worst.

EDIT - Nice story though.

[tokidoim]

Of course mom's gonna be shocked. She's been trying to ignore the fact for years that her little psychotic is growing up and will soon be out from under her apronskirt ( coincidentally leaving room for CanaMatt ).

Depending on how your parents view premarital sex determines whether you should bring it up. Surprisingly, the more against it they are, the more beneficial it would be for you to initiate the topic.

See, most likely, mom will talk to dad = dad will be all like 'sweet! man i wish it wuz me who barged in so i cud check me sum nubile young titties! next time come and get me, bich! Then mom will laugh it off and it never needs to be mentioned.

If mom is the secretive religious type, you probably want to engage her in conversation after an appropriate time period to let it sink in if you feel the need to avoid a prolonged state of awkward detachment.

Look at the bright side. At least it wasn't a dude you were with this time.

nosig

[CS]

You lucky bastard, it's too bad your mom didn't freak out and call your girlfriends parents. Now that would've been funny.

[Sunny]

The only thing I read was:

i know about 5 of you are worldly