First Date

[Thom]

Right ok so there's this girl I know from where I live, and I've known her for about a year and a half to two years, just as familiar accquaintances. She used to go out with my friend about 18 months ago, but they didn't go out for anything over a month, so it's pretty irrelevant but I thought I'd mention it to give a bit of background history.

A few months ago we were in a local club and I pulled her. I'm not showing off, but this is sort of vital to the story because after this we started speaking more and becoming more friendly. Recently I've been getting a little bored of being single, so I decided to ask her on a date. She's really cool, so between us we decided that she could come over to mine, and I would cook her something, and we'd watch Cool Runnings to indulge our mutual appreciation fo John Candy.

Take a seat, because I'm about to tell you something which will shock you to your very core;

I have never been on a date.

The closest thing I've had to a date is when I went to the cinema with Anna to see The Incredibles, and that was when, the end of 2004? Since then I went out with her, and then met Lydia and woo'ed her while I was actually still with Anna, so no dates neccesary.

By my calculations, there are approximately 7-8 members here who have experience with the fairer sex, and as many as 2 female members. 3 if you count L&E, so I'm just after some tips from experienced daters and from a female perspective. What should I cook for her? What is some basing dating etiquette, etc. I was about 7 when I went to the cinema with Anna, I didn't even realise you were supposed to pay for da bitches ticket.

[jitz]

Firstly, great choice on date Thom. Nice romantic dinner at your place, plenty of chance to talk, then hit the couch for some light hearted Cool Runnings laughs - absolutely brilliant. Like, we're talking guaranteed sex, there is no way this can be fucked up. Take note all posters without a girlfriend (that means you Hill), the aim of dating is sex, it's far too much hard work to waste on simply a kiss on the lips. Dating is a high pressure, mind numbing experience that can only be recovered from with hot, extremely relieving sex. When planning your date, never forget the ultimate goal. Work your date around the goal, not the goal around the date.

As for me, I realised this fact far too late in the game and fucked up every date I've ever been on. So I can't help you.

[Thom]

Priceless advice, but in this case not really applicable. I'm not sure if this girl's actually slept with anybody yet, and she's way, way too nice to be ruined by me on a one-night stand, I won't be having sex with this one unless I actually go out with her.

Unless she wants me to.

New aim: How can I trick her into thinking that she wants to have sex with me?

[CanaMatt]

My first date with my current girlfriend consisted of me pulling up in my car that I had JUST bought. Then a bit of awkwardness with the shy shit and stuff. THEN we went to supper, I ordered this awesome meal, and she just ordered water. WTF. I then find out that she went out for supper with her mother, knowing FULL WELL I was taking her out for supper. Oh well. Then we take off in my hot 1992 Cavalier, and BAM, first red light, stops DEAD. Engine, everything. So I turn her back on, thinking all will be cool. Dies as soon as I try to move. I found the only way I could get it moving was to revv it high enough in neutral, then quickly switch it to drive, making my tires spin, and making me look like a total jackass. Then, we finally get going again. FUCK I couldn't find the right movie theater. So I feel like an idiot, and suggest a movie playing at the other one. She says it sounds good, and wants to see it. Little did I know, she had already seen it, and hated it. WTF. So after that we go out for coffee. Which I spill on her all night, until god just got sick of slightly fucking with me, and dumped it all over her. Then I took her home, and she said "We should do this again.". I thought she was joking, but just one week ago she had a miscarriage while we were having sex. I guess you could say things got off on the right foot!! Oh, I didn't have sex with her till like the 5th date. Which, when we figured it out, turned out to be the time that got her pregnant. wtf is that garbage.

[jitz]

I hate movie theatres for dates. Not only due to the lack of conversation allowed during it; but because if the movie is shit and you picked it they won't let you forget it ever, and if they picked it, you resent them for wasting two hours you could have better spent talking to her (getting closer to the goal).

she had a miscarriage while we were having sex.

Trust me people, it's best you don't think about it too hard.

As for Thom, dude you're cooking for her, she knows what you're after and she's accepted the offer. It's practically an open invitation. Unless she's extremely naive to how the Chris dating game, that unfortunately never got it's time to shine, actually works. In that case follow Cool Runnings with a late night viewing of Cruel Intentions, chicks dig Ryan Phillipe and even the plot(!), and the movie openly brings up the prospect of sex. Steer clear of the sequels, unless you want to bat one of off after a severe case of blue balls.

[Thom]

I smell a sitcom!

Sounds like you didn't actually do anything wrong on the date though, she was the one being an asshole. Luckily even if my date does eat before she comes over, she'll still be able to eat about three helpings of whatever I cook for her. For a girl with a slammin' body, she eats like a trucker. That's something I find attractive in a woman as well, I don't want to be going out to eat with her somewhere, and watch her pick around a side salad while I'm chowing down on the majority of a cows ass. Plus there's no chance she won't like the movie, cause she's the one bringing it. If she decides for some reason she doesn't want to watch it? Uncle Buck it is!

What should I cook for her? I make an absolutely amazing bolognese, but that's a bit clich

[CanaMatt]

Let

[jitz]

Thom, Thom, Thom... in my pre-Chris dating game days (again, includes every date I've ever been on), I would have called you a fag, telling you flipping pizza dough with a girl is stupid. Now though, you've got one hot date brewing here. She'll get a little dirty, she'll be having fun, and she'll be very relaxed with you - the three vital components (I assume) to date sex. Just be sure to be a gentleman and offer the use of the bathroom to her so she can clean herself up.

[Thom]

As gay as it sounds Chris, I'm seriously not only after sex. If I wanted sex, then there are a number of other girls I could go to, and have been doing on occasions since January. I'm bored of that now though. I'm not sure that I want to settle down with a girlfriend, but I don't just want to have sex with her and then have nothing to do with her. I don't want her thinking I'm an asshole y'see.

[CanaMatt]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE THOM

[jitz]

Thom, there's a difference (I assume) between date sex and a one night stand. Date sex means more (I assume), it's not about sexing her then never calling her back. It's about sexing her, and calling her back for another date with the goal being to form a relationship, but with the added benefits of sex along the way.

It's a completely different way of thinking, which is why I think I should be naming it and writing a book about it. Girls like sex, everyone knows that. The reason why most dates flop, is because of the lack of any hint of sexual action (I assume). She wants to get to know you, and you want to get to know her, but you also both want to get off. Sure, with a virgin this is much harder. Listen to this though, Nic's cousin is 16 and was telling me two months ago she didn't want to have sex for a long, and she was serious. Last week though, Nic tells me that her cousin is now sucking on dick and getting this guy to go down on her. Trust me, I'm TRYING to hook up a three way, I really am. Point is, a lot of virgins want it just as much as sluts. Besides Thom, you're only fooling yourself, you want to break her in. That desire is hidden in your subconscious right now, but it's there.

Just keep in mind that date sex isn't a one night stand, it's a...teasing that guarantees a second date.

[Thom]

Nic has a wierdly open relationship with her cousin...

My date is a really hot girl, so yeah, of course I'd like to have sex with her, it's instinctual, but I'm just saying that I'm not gonna make it the primary objective of this date.

I've texted her and asked if she has any prior arrangements this Friday evening, waiting on her reply now. Could take a few hours, she doesn't often get out of bed before 3pm.

[Fozy]

I fucking love how this topic only consists of Thom, Matt and Jitz.

[Subrick]

And Chris.

[jitz]

Nic has a wierdly open relationship with her cousin...

Not nearly open enough for what I want.

EDIT - Subrick, Chris and Jitz are the same person - me.

[Aero]

i got bored of reading all these posts, so i dunno if you've decided what to make her, but anyways, have you, whilst hanging out with her before noticed what she likes? it always helps.

my first date with kirsty was about a month after i started seeing her, i took her out for a meal and then we where gonna get a dvd, my reason for taking her out is because not only could i see what she ordered, but its also fair dinner conversation to find out other foods she likes. this way i could avoid something she wouldnt like at a later date.

anyways, on our way down to my local video store, she said it was quite a nice night, and it was still early, so i asked if she wanted to go for a walk down to the shore, its quite nice scenery and when you get to the shore there is quite a long bank to sit on. she was well up for it, we dandered down, chatted, flirted, held hands, wank like that and when we get to the shore, there is no one around, we get closer and she makes a move (can i point out now that, the first night we hooked up she told me how much she liked me and that due to prior experiences, she wasnt ready to rush into sex... this was partly spurred on by the fact that i was drunk and, well, pawed quite a bit at her lol. as such i was taking it slow because i did really like her.. still do unfortunately, hence why she made the first move) so we go at it, its outside sex and ppl could appear at any minute, so i'll not pretend it was the most romantic of things.

by now its getting dark and we head up to get that dvd, cant even remember what it was now as we only watched the first 15mins of it before i successfully tried my hand again.

anyways, the point is, thom, make something you are sure she'll like, if its tasty, it can be as simple as you like, better off starting with basic food so she's not expecting it to always be something really ott. and secondly, first dates are not all about sex, from 3rd date on i think its fair to constantly aim for sex, but if yo are serious about her, just make the night about enjoying yourselves, finding out more about each other etc. gay as this will sound, sex with someone you actually care about is actually better.

[Big Bizang]

Did you ever get back with your girlfriend Dave?

Picking up from Jitz, how do I get my hot yet prudish girlfriend to be interested in the concept of a threeway? I'm starting to be really scared I will never accomplish this in my lifetime.

Anyways, if it was me I would've done the first date in a restaurant as I would think that the invite to come over to the house a bit intimidating for the laydee, should she get nervous that all I want is the saix. Having only had 2 real dates three years ago with Amy maybe I'm not qualified but I will say that my first date was just walking around town, I managed to spill ice cream all over myself and call her ex-boyfriend/very good friend a twat and managed to net her as girlfriend within 10 days. Take my advice as you will.

[Chillalex]

If you're insistent that the date is over at yours, I'll not suggest owt else like others are (although I will add, my last first date I booked a special night at a restaraunt for her and it cost me eighty notes - I told her we'll settle it later else it just gets nasty, though I've never seen that money since. Cow.)

Candles. Ladies like candles. Flowers. I think they like flowers. So cook your lady friend a meal, make it good, not bad, presentation and all that, and of course the mandatory bottle of wine (maybe even a selection thereof) and relax the mood in to a watching of cool runnings.

Basically pay attention to the details and atmosphere. What you want to do is just let her know that you'll make her feel special if she chooses the Archer (why ever not?) so just keep that in mind and itll be fine.

Wouldnt have gone with such an informal setting for a first myself, but I'm sure itll work. Make it known you made an effort for her (hoover up!) and make her feel waited on and special (dont ask her to do the washing up).

I dont need to tell you how to be as you know all that anyway

[CanaMatt]

and if there is a wrestling pay per view on that night be sure to order it.

[Thom]

When I asked her when she'd be free she said "I'm free pretty much any time " so I said great, and then the next morning (Yesterday) text her asking if Friday sounded good, she said she'd already made plans to go stay at a friends house, and I asked when would be a convenient day for her, and waited for her reply.

And waited.

And waited.

No reply. Hmm. I got home and she was on MSN, I jokingly told her she was awful at texting back, and she said that she had no credit on her phone. I was eating at the same time as talking to her, and whatever it was tasted particularly delicious, so I gave it my full attention for a couple of minutes, and when I looked back at the conversation she'd said "Now my Mum's going on at me, got to go!" and finally "Speak to you soon! "

Am I right to be suspecting shens?

[CanaMatt]

I would be personally

[Aero]

definately man, mayb she is indeed abit suspicious of the meal at your house, does she know you are a man whore? lol.

big bizang, unfortunately we havn't got back together, she's got a new tattoo, new hair and been working out so she's hotter than ever... but she seems to have a few spys about the town as she knows where i've been hanging out, going drinking etc which is a bit freaky... if i didnt know any better i'd think she was trying to make me jelous as if i had broken up with her lol. as such its a mixed basket, she's hot but a crazy bitch, makes it easier to take it or leave it with her lol.

[jitz]

She's ditched the Archer before the ball even got rolling, what a tease. Unless she wants you to chase, but man that's always way too much effort. Time to rethink this one Thom, chances are she's not worth the mental strain.

As for the threeway Bizang, some girls are just not interested at all in even the slightest bit of sapphic love. The topic came up one night when we were drunk at a party and I made a hilarious (to me anyway) joke about my best mates sister coming back to my house with us. From there she asked me if I'd really like that, and I said something along the lines of "fuck yeah". It was another...3 months since that time till the subject came up again (very painful three months full of mental anguish at the prospect of it being solely drunk talk), this time it was sober talk and I don't remember how it came up, but she said she wants to have a threesome, great I thought. Till I started throwing names out there for possible participants and they were all shot down as not being up to standard, I gave up and just said that it was never going to to happen, but she said that it definitely would, it just has to be with the right girl.

So I'm gonna take a huge gamble and try to get her in bed with her currently underaged, 16 year old cousin on her 17th birthday (legal age) in October. I might be setting the bar impossibly high, but a man can dream.

Oh and when Nic asked if i'd have sex with the other girl, I smartly said "only after having sex with you, and you said it was ok". She loved me so much for that answer, I always assumed I'd be screwing the other girl though - it was news to only Nic. So everyone, feel free to use that.

[Big Bizang]

See, Amy's view is 'why would I want to share you?' and 'What am I not enough?' you know the typical retorts. I'm not seriously upset that she doesn't like the idea because it's a small thing considering everything else but still, I know I'll probably marry this girl and I know I want to do this at least once in my life - it's the dream.

I wouldn't even need to fuck the other girl you know, the downside of this is that every extra person increases the amount of people you can't look in the eye again afterwards.

The pisser is, and Dave this is where I sympathise wholly, my crazy-ass ex-girlfriend was well up for it when I was with her as was her hot best friend. I punch myself in the dick every night for not taking advantage of that situation when I was 16.

[RingMaster2001]

Take her to a bar for some rohypnol and coke.