Work Dilemma

[Thom]

I just received an email from a colleague inviting me out with colleagues to go for a meal and then to a bar/club which I usually frequent with my friends. Let me fill you in a little on who will be in attendance.

Gav - 30 year old South African guy who sits next to me. Pretty much the only guy who's made any attempt to speak to me while I've worked here, because we both hole ourselves up in this corner, laughing at each other's pictures on Facebook, and talking about where's good to go out in Worcester because he hasn't been here long. He's the one who invited me to the shindig.

Scottish Guy - I don't know much about this guy, but he sits the other side of Gav. Seems quite nice, but in his 40's no doubt.

Phil - Big fat dude, late 40's, can be pretty funny when he speaks.

Andy - Lovable middle-aged guy. Again, pretty funny, but well into his 40's/

Alan - A real fucking oddball. 35 but looks like he's pushing 60. Short, skinny, bald, bespectacled, lightly-spoken and shy. Lives with his parents, goes on holiday with his parents, goes to the dentist with his parents. Entirely possible that he might bring his fuckin' parents to this thing.

Stephen - Think he's like the boss sort of thing. Seems alright, doesn't say much. Mid to late 30's.

Lucy - Only attractive girl in the office, but pretty annoying when she speaks. Mid 20's, and typical office-girl looks; long dark hair, glasses, sophisticated sort of look. Doesn't change the fact that she's the sort of person who goes to Manchester to see Scissor Sisters, and then complains about the infinitely more talented support "Bonde Do Role", but couldn't even remember their name. Sat next to Alan though, she's a regular babe.

Carol - Quite a nice woman when she's not in one of her infamous alcohol-fuelled mood swings. I'm completely ignorant and apathetic as to whether she's aware that I've fucked her daughter.

If I go out with them, I'll have to sit with a group of people old enough to be my parents, endure a meal at whatever played-out restaurant while they drink a bottle of wine between them, talk about work, ask me about popular music such as, Arctic Monkeys, which I'll have to pretend to like so I don't insult them. After that it's onto my usual pre-club barso the guys can watch girls who are probably my friends get up and pole-dance, and the women can have another bottle of wine between them and act all over the place. As such, my dilemma is as follows;

How shall I try and get this Lucy girl into the sack?

[Subrick]

Roofie in the drink. Always works.

[Jonny]

I would be embaressed if I were in your situation. Sorry I can't advise anything else than don't go anywhere where your friends might see you.

[Tychoma]

Offer her some pills at the meal.

[Jonny]

What if she declines?

[Subrick]

Force it upon her.

[ExOtOy]

By talking to her? Seriously, talk to her...tell a few jokes, get her a wee-bit drunk, and then your all set.

[Aero]

if i've learnt nothing esle from my time woring in a supermarket and being dragged to a christmas do a few years back, ppl are not always as bad when they are out, i'd say there is a fairly good chance you'd see a different side to alot of them, as such, just be your normal self as this seems to get you plenty of girls (fucker) and you'll probably have her. if its not working, play some sort of sympathy card on her.

[Tychoma]

Actually yeah, Aero speaks the truth on this one.

[CanaMatt]

I thought we were older than 12.

[Big Bizang]

Before I clicked on this topic, I noticed it was by Thom and thought to myself; 'Let me guess, it's about some girl he wants to fuck'. Man you're getting predictable, sort it out.

Having said that go with the work guys you'll have a proper laugh at the meal and then meet your friends at the club.

[Subrick]

Then screw her.

[Thom]

Oh sorry I forgot about this. Well yeah, I'm not gonna go to their grab-the-ass meal, cause I found out my Mother is going, cause she works in a different department. I'll just have to fuck this Lucy woman on my own agenda.

[Chillalex]

pix of your mom

i could go as you if she hot

[CanaMatt]

I would be embaressed if I were in your situation. Sorry I can't advise anything else than don't go anywhere where your friends might see you.

sorry I meant to quote this in my "I thought we were older than 12" post. My bad crackas.